This morning I weighed myself. I mustered all my courage and stepped on the scale for the first time in months. Not as bad as I feared, worse than I hoped, so I guess that means it's what I expected. After months of avoidance, I decided that to measure the success of "the program", I needed to know the starting point.

My success plan in terms of food is a little fuzzy. On the one hand, I want to prepare healthy meals using only organic locally grown foods. On the other, a freezer full of frozen diet dinners seems more practical. I compromised and went to Trader Joe's and bought semi-prepared low-fat foods. We'll see what happens.

As long as I was measuring, I checked Cowboy out as well. He weighs in at 938 lbs according to my tape. He could stand to gain 50-100 lbs. I may supplement his diet with corn oil. I can get it in bulk at Costco when I pick up the mega-pack of frozen diet dinners. Anyone hear of Jack Sprat and his wife?

I also checked out a couple crucial measurements on the horse. He measures 38" from poll to withers, and 40" from withers to tailhead. Ideally, these should be equal, so he is a little long-backed. Possibly from hunched shoulders from poor saddle fit.

We worked a little on OnLine skills, working toward our green Level 3 Parelli string. Of course, I passed Level 2 about 6 months ago and am still waiting for my blue string. I've called them and e-mailed them, and now have about 3 certificates and have had my name listed as a Level 2 graduate in the magazine, but still no string. The more I try to get them to send me one, the more elusive it becomes. It has become a sort of obsession. I lay awake at night cooking up schemes to get them to mail the *^#(@) blue string to me. I don't know why I am working so hard toward the green string when the strings, the Parelli universal symbol of achievement, never seem to arrive. It doesn't seem that the blue strings don't exist--when Laura passed Level 2, they sent her 2 blue strings, in separate shipments. Of course, Laura is a Gold member, while I am just a standard member, so it seems that money does indeed talk in the Parelli world.

Forgive the rantings of a disillusioned Parelli disciple.....

The good thing about starting these programs at New Year's is that there are lots of inspirational articles out there to help you get going. There was one in Parade on Sunday that offered up the analogy of the Elephant and the Rider. The Elephant represents the emotional impulsive side, while the Rider is the rational analytical side. While the Rider seems to be in control, in a battle of wills the Elephant will always win due to superior size and strength. The Rider tends to over-analyze and over-think, and while the Elephant sacrifices long-term goals for short-term gratification, it does have lots of energy and drive. So a goal must appeal to both in order to achieve. I'm not entirely sure how to put this into practice, but as a lifetime over-thinker and over-analyzer, I like the idea that there is an Elephant in there somewhere with energy and drive, and I hope I can tap into it. Actually, I already have, but only the part about sacrificing long-term goals for short-term gratification...